sorrow

~listen

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong

familiar breath of my old lies
changed the color in my eyes
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me

left alone with only reflections of the memory
to face the ugly girl
that’s smothering me
sitting closer than my pain
he knew each tear before it came
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

and we kiss each other one more time
and sing this lie that’s halfway mine
the sword is slicing through the question
so i won’t be fooled by his angel light

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me
and up into the stars

joy will come . .

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong . .

the oc

this morning one of our assistant drillers, justin, unexpectedly asks me if i have ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder).  i told him why’d he asked and he replied that it’s because he noticed how i organize my stuff on my office desk.  well i have always been “neat” on my workspace, i do confess that i get upset when one of my pens or my post-its are missing, or the scissors or the stapler are not in the proper place where i left them to be..

when it comes to people with ocd, the brain gets hooked on a disturbing thought or idea and can’t let go.  because the troubling thoughts loop and malinger beyond the control of the patient, the condition has been compared to a case of “mental hiccups”.

in order to cope with these unwanted thoughts or “obsessions”, the patient often develop rituals or “compulsions” to minimize or alleviate the mental distress caused by the troubling thoughts.  however, these rituals are only temporary fixes and relief from the obsessions.

so, as I was on a “not that busy” mode this afternoon, i tried to browse subjects on the net regarding ocd.  i found a screening quiz about it and took it.  here was my result:

results of your obsessive compulsive disorder screening

you scored a total of 16 

if you scored 12 and up, then ocd is likely

if you scored 8 – 11, then ocd is probable

if you scored 0 -7, then ocd is unlikely

this is not meant as a diagnosis tool.

based upon your responses to this screening measure, you are most likely suffering from an obsessive compulsive disorder.  this is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.  however, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental health professional in your community immediately.

that wasn’t a good result.  anyways, as long as my “ocd” does not interfere or hinder any of my usual daily activites – i think i’ll be okay.

oh, did i double locked my door?  i have to check that before hitting the sack..