what hurts the most

i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
that don’t bother me
i can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
i’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
even though going on with you gone still upsets me
there are days every now and again i pretend i’m ok
but that’s not what gets me

what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was tryin’ to do

it’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
but i’m doin’  it
it’s hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i’m alone
still harder
getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
but I know if i could do it over
i would trade give away all the words that i saved in my heart
that i left unspoken

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

what hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

not seeing that loving you
that’s what i was trying to do
ooohhh . . .

rebirthing

 

i lie here paralytic
inside this soul
screaming for you till my throat is numb 
i wanna break out i need a way out 
i don’t believe that it’s gotta be this way
the worst is the waiting
in this womb i’m suffocating

feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen 
i take you in
i’ve died

rebirthing now 
i wanna live for love wanna live for you and me
breathe for the first time now
i come alive somehow
rebirthing now 
i wanna live my life wanna give you everything
breathe for the first time now
i come alive somehow

i lie here lifeless
in this cocoon
shedding my skin cause
i’m ready to 
i wanna break out
i found a way out 
i don’t believe that it’s gotta be this way
the worst is the waiting
in this womb i’m suffocating

tell me when i’m gonna live again
tell me when i’m gonna breathe you in
tell me when i’m gonna feel inside
tell me when i’m gonna feel alive

tell me when i’m gonna live again
tell me when this fear will end
tell me when i’m gonna feel inside
tell me when i’ll feel alive . . .

hate me

 

i have to block out thoughts of you, so i don’t lose my head
they crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
dropping little reels of tape to remind me that i’m alone
playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
there’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
an ounce of peace is all i want for you, will you never call again?
and will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
and will you never try to reach me, it is i that wanted space

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

i’m sober now for three whole months
it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing i won’t touch again
in my sick way i want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
while i was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
you never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
you made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
so I’ll drive so fucking far away that i’ll never cross your mind
and do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

and with a sad heart i say bye to you and wave
kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that i have made
and like a baby boy i never was a man
until i saw your blue eyes cry and i held your face in my hand
and then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be

and then she whispered “how can you do this to me?” 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you . . .

you’re not alone

that’s just like him
to wander off in the evergreen park
slowly searching
for any sign of the ones
he used to love
he says he’s got nothing
left to live for
(he says he’s got nothing left)
and this time I think you’ll know

you’re not alone
there’s more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

she’s just like him
spoiled rotten, confused by
the lies she’s been fed
she’s searching for no
one (but herself)
her eyes turn to green
and she seems to be happy
that she is her
and this time I think you’ll know

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out

(there is more to this)

we’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

(so tell me)

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

you’re not alone
you’re not, you’re not alone . . .

sorrow

~listen

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong

familiar breath of my old lies
changed the color in my eyes
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me

left alone with only reflections of the memory
to face the ugly girl
that’s smothering me
sitting closer than my pain
he knew each tear before it came
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

and we kiss each other one more time
and sing this lie that’s halfway mine
the sword is slicing through the question
so i won’t be fooled by his angel light

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me
and up into the stars

joy will come . .

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong . .

broken

~listen

i wanted you to know i love the way you laugh
i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
i keep your photograph; i know it serves me well
i wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘cause i’m broken when i’m open
and i don’t feel like i am strong enough
‘cause i’m broken when i’m lonesome
and i don’t feel right when you’re gone away

the worst is over now and we can breathe again
i wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
there’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
i wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘cause i’m broken when i’m open
and i don’t feel like i am strong enough
‘cause i’m broken when i’m lonesome
and i don’t feel right when you’re gone away

‘cause i’m broken when i’m open
and i don’t feel like i am strong enough
‘cause i’m broken when i’m lonesome
and i don’t feel right when you’re gone away . .

bleeding love

~listen

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love . .