hate me

 

i have to block out thoughts of you, so i don’t lose my head
they crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
dropping little reels of tape to remind me that i’m alone
playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
there’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
an ounce of peace is all i want for you, will you never call again?
and will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
and will you never try to reach me, it is i that wanted space

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

i’m sober now for three whole months
it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing i won’t touch again
in my sick way i want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
while i was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
you never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
you made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
so I’ll drive so fucking far away that i’ll never cross your mind
and do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

and with a sad heart i say bye to you and wave
kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that i have made
and like a baby boy i never was a man
until i saw your blue eyes cry and i held your face in my hand
and then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be

and then she whispered “how can you do this to me?” 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you
hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you . . .

you’re not alone

that’s just like him
to wander off in the evergreen park
slowly searching
for any sign of the ones
he used to love
he says he’s got nothing
left to live for
(he says he’s got nothing left)
and this time I think you’ll know

you’re not alone
there’s more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

she’s just like him
spoiled rotten, confused by
the lies she’s been fed
she’s searching for no
one (but herself)
her eyes turn to green
and she seems to be happy
that she is her
and this time I think you’ll know

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out

(there is more to this)

we’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

(so tell me)

you’re not alone
there is more to this I know
you can make it out
you will live to tell

you’re not alone
you’re not, you’re not alone . . .

sorrow

~listen

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong

familiar breath of my old lies
changed the color in my eyes
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me

left alone with only reflections of the memory
to face the ugly girl
that’s smothering me
sitting closer than my pain
he knew each tear before it came
soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

and we kiss each other one more time
and sing this lie that’s halfway mine
the sword is slicing through the question
so i won’t be fooled by his angel light

sorrow lasts through this night
i’ll take this piece of you
and hold for all eternity
for just one second i felt whole
as you flew right through me
and up into the stars

joy will come . .

sometimes life seems too quiet
into paralyzing silence
like the moonless dark
meant to make me strong . .